Unsure why his anger was directed at me, I replied, “I don’t really know where it is since I left the office yesterday at 3:00.”
“Well, you are responsible for all faxes that come in whether you are here or not! I expect you to know exactly where they are because each one is vital to this company!!”
This was the way it had been ever since I had started working there. The accusations had run the gamut from not knowing where faxes were to stealing, lying and even embezzling money from the company. I thought this job was going to be the perfect solution for my family. It fit well with my kid’s school schedules and it was an answer to our prayers but I was beginning to wonder about that.
Unknowingly I had stepped into a very sticky situation. My boss’ wife had been working as the office administrator and it really wasn’t her forte. There was tension between she and her husband because of it and she had decided to look for another job.
When I started, the office was in shambles – it was jumbled and chaotic. My first order was to get the office organized and running smoothly, which I did but then another problem raised its ugly head. My boss’ wife began to feel threatened by the reorganization; she felt it made her look bad.
She began leaving me nasty notes and it seemed I was constantly put in no-win situations. It would start when she would call the office and want to talk to her husband. And I would then ask her to hold because her husband was unable to talk immediately. Then she would hang up and call him in on his cell phone. And the next thing I knew, he was in my face demanding to know if I had told her he was busy and couldn’t talk right away.
Day after day this went on and day after day I wanted to turn and run. I didn’t need this insanity in my life. But each time I brought it before the Lord; I would feel Him say to me, “Who are you working for, him or Me?”
(Sigh) “You, Lord.”
“Then why are you running?”
“The pain is too raw; I don’t think I can bear it any longer! I’ve been accused of so many things that aren’t true. I don’t deserve this.”
“My dearest daughter, I didn’t deserve it either but I did it for you! I know about the pain you’re experiencing and I know you are much stronger than you think you are. I have a plan, do you believe that? I understand about being accused of things that are untrue and having people destroy your reputation. But remember, your reputation is my reputation. Do you trust Me?”
With hesitancy I promised, “Yes, Lord, I will trust You!”
And I did but it was one of the hardest things I have ever done! I worked for 9 months and nothing ever changed, well that is nothing except me! God was at work in my life; molding and making me into a stronger, more determined, more passionate woman of faith. Each day I made a choice not to run but to follow; to fully surrender my life completely to His will. My mantra became: “My reputation is Your reputation and I trust You.”
Was I perfect in this situation? Not even close but I learned to lean on God; to ask Him for strength when I was weak and discernment when the way seemed unclear. And He was faithful!
Let me ask you, what do you do when you find yourself accused of something you didn’t do? Do you have the tendency, like me, to want to run? Do you find yourself second guessing the decisions you’ve made when things don’t work out the way you think they should, instead of embracing the struggle and opening your heart to what God wants to teach you?
In the Old Testament, Joshua stands before the people and says, “ . . . choose today whom you will serve. . . But as for me and my family, we will serve the LORD.” (Joshua 24:15 NLV)
“So who will you serve?
Without reservation, holding nothing back, I choose Jesus! What will your choice be?