Can I just get a break? I need a holiday, a vacation, an escape – any of those would do I’m not really picky! I’d even settle for just being able to put my head in the sand and let the world go by for a few days.
My life is just so crammed with stuff that continually calls my attention.
There are the kids that need help with their homework, driven to soccer practice, picked up from gymnastics, dropped off at friends and taken to the doctor! There is the job that never seems to be left at work. It sneaks into my car and forcefully makes its way into my home.
Then there is the house; the never-ending mounds of laundry, dirty bathrooms, stacks and stacks of dishes, and weeds in the flower beds that threaten to take over even the hardiest plants. There are friends and relatives that want my attention, neighbors, people in need and on and on the list goes. Could I just scream, pull out my hair and find the nearest closet to hide in for a while?
And then there is God. . .
He is constantly at work in my life; poking, prodding, re-shaping, and changing my life. Some of the time I’m content to let Him do His work in me but really after a while it gets a little laborious. I’m tired of being thrown out of my comfort zone!
I feel like a cancer patient who is constantly poked with needles, prodded in places that I don’t want to be prodded and examined to the nth degree. Sometimes, I just want a break for a while, a sabbatical if you will from God. Could I just stay where I am for a while and not change?
I think summer would be the perfect time to take a break from God.
My Bible studies have ended, the kids are out of school and my schedule is thrown out the window. I will be FREE. It’s not like it will be forever. I’ll just do it for the summer and then when school starts up again I’ll be ready for God to begin His work in me again.
As I am making my selfish plans, I hear Him whisper, “My child, you will never just stay where you are. You are either moving toward Me or away from Me.”
And He reminds me of a verse in Proverbs that says , “A nap here, a nap there, a day off here, a day off there, sit back, take it easy—do you know what comes next? Then (spiritual) poverty will pounce on you like a bandit; scarcity will attack you like an armed robber!”(Proverbs 24:33-34 Message, NLV)
Do I really want that – spiritual poverty?
I can already see myself bankrupt, sitting in a pool of self-pity and despair . I’ve been there before and I KNOW I don’t want to experience that again. What was I thinking?
Lord, I’m sorry. I’ve been a fool BUT what grace You have extended to me in spite of everything! Teach me to love you with all my mind, my heart and my soul and never, never let me take a holiday from You!