This journey has not been easy, in fact I know she would say, hands down, it is the hardest thing she has ever done or will do. And there is no guarantee of the future.
You see, their little boy, even though he has been given this amazing gift of love, cannot accept it. His past and the things that happened to him before he came to live with them have scarred his life and are holding him captive. He is unable to embrace this love, to bask in its warmth and to allow its light to shine in his life. He has built a fortress around his heart and to let that love in is too frightening and threatening for him. He wants the love and is drawn to it but then pulls away because it threatens to break down his defenses.
As I watch this gifted and talented young boy run from true, unfailing, unconditional love, I cannot help but see myself reflected in him. I do this very thing with God. I am His chosen child and I want His love, in fact I’m drawn to it like a moth to a flame but then I find myself pulling away because His love exposes my innermost being and I don’t like what I see. . . Why is it so hard to receive pure and undefiled love? Why does my heart do this yo-yo dance with God? Why do I allow fear to keep me from completely enjoying and reveling in God’s incredible love? . . . . .
And then I think of my friend and her incredible love for her son. She has given everything for him. She loves him unconditionally and no matter how she is treated by him, she continues to give of herself, to endure through the pain and to love unconditionally.
She is my hero! She is the strongest person I know and she demonstrates God’s great love and incredible patience with him every day twenty-four – seven, three hundred and sixty-five days a year! In her weakness I see her strength in God grow and in her brokenness and pain I have seen God bring her unspeakable joy.
And as I see myself reflected in her son, I see God reflected in her. . . His grace that I did nothing to deserve, His patience when I am obnoxious and hurtful, His love when I am unlovely, His gentle touch when I am hurting and in pain. That’s how my friend loves her son and that’s how God loves me!
2 thoughts on “Yo-Yo Dance with God”
Thank you for this post. God has used your words to remind me of how much he loves me. Thank you.
What a wonderful reminder of God's incredible love for us… Thank you for helping us to wrap our minds and hearts around that realization… God's perfect gift to us.