My heart can be so fickle. My attention span, short. My purpose of mind, capricious. I have a tendency to get side-tracked, to be unfocused, and am prone to giving in when my comfort is threatened.
I hate admitting this but it’s true, especially in a specific area of my life that has been a stronghold for far too long. I have rationalized, justified and flat out refused to surrender this area of my life to God. Oh, I’ve tried! I’ve prayed! I’ve begged God to just wave His magic wand and set me free. After all isn’t that what He died for?
But truthfully, I haven’t wanted to do the hard work of rooting this idol out of my life. I haven’t wanted to look deep into my heart and see the ugly. I haven’t wanted to surrender to the pain of the Surgeon’s knife. I can’t tell you how many times I have started with such good intentions and how quickly I’ve failed and given up. It’s just too hard. I love my comfort more. Sadly, “I want the warmth of the womb and not a new birth.” (Wilbur Rees, I’d Like to Buy $3 Worth of God Please)
BUT, recently God has once again revisited this issue (let’s be honest, it’s SIN) in my life and I believe my heart is ready to look deep into the abyss and see the ugly.
So we (God and I) have begun to explore this room in my heart that I have barred God from entering for years upon years . . .
I have begun to see how this idol has enslaved me and how it’s kept me from living FREE. How it’s holding me back in my ministry. How it is affecting other areas of my life. And I have come to understand; I can’t do this without God!! Doing this without His strength and power is why I’ve tried and failed so many times in the past.
As we have journeyed down into the dungeon of my soul I’ve found God so ever present. As we have looked at the darkness of my sin, I have found Him not condemning but illuminating. Whispering, “There’s a better way to live, Kristi. It’s what I died for . . . you’re no longer a slave but my daughter and you are FREE.
Jesus said, “I tell you most solemnly that anyone who chooses a life of sin is trapped in a dead-end life and is, in fact, a slave. A slave is a transient, who can’t come and go at will. The Son, though, has an established position, the run of the house. So if the Son sets you free, you are free through and through. John 8.35-36 (MSG)
Hebrews 12.2, says, “Fix your eyes on Jesus, the Pioneer and Perfector of our faith . . . “
I love this! Jesus started this work in me and He will perfect it. What do I need to do? FIX my eyes on Him.
Focused. Resolute. Intentional. Immovable. Anchored.
It’s what will bring . . . Freedom. Victory. Fortitude.
Yes, this is just the beginning, and yes there will be more difficult roads ahead but sticking with Jesus like glue, centering my heart and mind on Him, will set me FREE and allow God to shape my heart into His design instead of mine.
This is my word for the year; FIXED! I’m stripping off the weights and sins that have held me captive (Hebrews 12.1) and fixing my eyes on Jesus who promises to do His good work in me and give me an Undivided Heart!
Spilling His grace,